Sometimes the letters we get make us laugh out loud:
Just wanted to let you in on a funny little thing that happened this morning at the Buttercup Playlot (Sheridan & Margate Terrace). I was walking the dog there this morning, and happened to glance over and saw a guy pooping in the bushes. Delightful thing to see when the playground is used by kids daily and the grass by all the rest of us.
So being a good citizen, I called 311 to get someone in to clean it up. They immediately transfered me to the emergency dispatchers, who took the report and promised to send police over to find the guy (an impossible task, given the fact that I only saw his, ahem, business end).
The conversation continued more or less like this:
Round 3 looked more or less the same.
I gave up.