Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Public Lewdness Reported Near School

A reader reports that seeing a man parked at the corner of Lawrence and Beacon this morning. The car's engine was running, and he was sitting inside self-pleasuring with everything visible to passers-by.

Needless to say, not what we'd like to see, or have kids walking to Courtenay School (Beacon and Montrose) see.

The reader immediately called 911 to report what was going on and gave a description. The man observed her doing this and immediately drove away.

Please keep an eye out for him and call 911 if you see similar lewd behavior in the future. The man is described as Latino and the car is a small electric blue sports coupe with a license plate beginning with "R47."


  1. God, this neighborhood is unbelievable. I just moved in 7 weeks ago. With everything going on in this neighborhood at least since I've been here....gunshots I've heard in the middle of the damn day in the snow, and now this....this is the most unsafe I've felt in the 20 years I've lived in the city. I guess I'll have to move again when my lease is up in a year.

    1. Laura, if you have lived in Chicago for 20 years, then you could not possibly have moved into Uptown without knowing that it is a transitioning neighborhood that still has problems. It's always very easy for our new transplants to bitch-n-moan in here and hysterically declare that they're going to move as soon as they can...but instead of being indignant about discovering the problems that most of us already know (and in some cases, have known for 20+ years), why don't you try to help do something about it? Connect with your neighbors and find out if they have a phone tree or if they are active in the CAPS program...or connect with your block club and see what they're doing in the crime prevention arena. Perhaps you might be able to volunteer in something constructive instead of just grumbling then tucking tail and running away from the problems you perceive...heaven knows that the vast majority of us who have invested our sweat, time, and money in this neighborhood over the years have seen positive changes from our efforts, which wouldn't happen if we had the same attitude you express. Not everyone has the guts and fortitude to stick with it, but newbie hysterics aren't helpful to anyone except for the criminal elements.

  2. I don't mean to spoil the scare, but I saw this guy on my way to the bus stop this morning. He was a construction worker with his seat tilted back, catching a few Z's before the rest of his crew got in. Have a been a lot of construction guys working on a couple buildings the past few weeks. Definitely not jacking it.

    1. This is incorrect Chris. He was not a construction worker. He was not taking a nap. He was being a creep. Not sure why someone would make this up. Where you there? Well I was and I was the one who reported this to the police. So, if you are this creep and you are trying to deflect negative attention from yourself, then you should save that behavior for your morning shower.

    2. Is it not possible you are both correct? I mean, it stands to reason that he might need a little nip-nap after all the rigorous activity..

  3. Chris, Hilarious..... that seems more likely. Maybe he was having a little dream. Or, more likely it is Irish Pirate's daddy....

    But, if true, that would be creepy.

  4. Jason,

    once again you prove yourself to be the master of the obvious. "Wow, masturbation in a car outside a school would be creepy. CREEPY." It's a wonder Rahm hasn't made you his Corporation Council yet. There's still time.

    As for my dad at this point if he were being creepy in a car outside a school it would likely be because the kids were scared by his skeletonized remains.

    "That would be creepy". It's a true loss to Uptown that you didn't run for Alderman last time as you proposed/threatened to. You can join the clown car that the opposition to Cappleman is turning into though. Get in early before the car gets too crowded. Just don't let Littleton drive.

    As for me I'm in Gettysburg at the moment. Did you realize that the closest White Castle Hamburger joint is 120+ miles from Gettysburg? I didn't. Hell of a place to be drunk after an exciting day spent with Lincoln scholars. These guys know how to drink although they tend towards civil war era appropriate alcohol.

    Ever had Philly fish punch? Maple beer? Trust me you can skip it.

    Four score and seven beers ago...........

    Hopefully old Abe will forgive me for that. Unlike Jason or myself he was a truly great human being and American. He liked to drink too. I hope he skipped the fish punch.