Saturday, January 24, 2015

Plot Twist: Lionel Has Disappeared (Update: In Good Hands)

Update:  Lionel was taken by friendly forces, known to his owner, who are planning to see if he can be repaired. She was notified by text this morning.

His stylist has created a Facebook page of some of Lionel's many costumes over the years:  Lionel.


The saga of Lionel the Stylishly Dressed Lion just keeps going.  And now there's a disturbing twist.

To recap, earlier this week Lionel was, in the words of his stylist, "mugged." She was planning to assess the damage this weekend to see if he could be repaired. Many readers expressed their affection for Lionel and his stylish and frequent costume changes on UU's Facebook page and in the comments. He's been stylin' at the corner of Montrose and Dayton since 1998.

Late Friday night his owner wrote us that "I came home tonight to find him completely missing. I am flummoxed to say the least (and that’s not a word I say often.) Just the logistics involved leave me baffled."

Where's Lionel?  Did someone take him with the intention of fixing him?  Was it foul play?

We don't know.

We have told his owner that many offers have come in from Lionel's fans to donate money to pay for his repair, or to purchase Lionel 2.0.  If she chooses to go that route, we'll be happy to help publicize the fundraising.

So, if you're a good person who took Lionel and plans to repair him, please let his owner know he's in good hands.

If you're a bad person who stole him before he could even be assessed for damages, well, you just stink.


  1. I'm picturing photos of Lionel being taken on trips throughout the ward and being posted. Pics of him in front of the Green Mill.

    Pics of Lionel in a twerkoff with Littleton.

    Pics of Lionel at the Wilson EL stop waiting for a train.

    Pics of Lionel wearing shades and walking into a methadone clinic.

    Pics of Lionel still wearing shades and walking into the nearby Davis for alderman office.

    Pics of Lionel still wearing shades and walking from the Davis campaign office to the tattoo parlor.

    Pics of Lionel eating at 42 Grams.

    Pics of Lionel dressed as a streetwalker around Wilson and Broadway.

    Pics of Lionel under a blanket and in bed smoking a cigarette with a cat.

    Pics of Lionel sitting on the piano at Mariano's and singing a song.

    Pics of Lionel working at one of JPUSA's businesses. Do they still have the roofing supply house?

    Pics of Lionel working behind the counter at Sonic.

    Pics of Lionel on top of the Uptown Baptist Church sign with devil horns on his head.

    I'm sorry, but I find this sadly amusing. I wlll be happy to contribute to Lionel Part Deux if it becomes necessary. Quick websearch shows this Chicago based outfit has a good variety of lion statuary.

    Pics of Lionel debating Cappleman, Davis and Crawford.

    Pics of Lionel peeing in an alley.

    Pics of Lionel peeing on Mayor Rahm.

    Pics of Lionel on Cricket Hill smoking some weed.

    Pics of Lionel being searched by the police and up against a car near the Sunnyside Mall.

    Pics of Lionel throwing down a Guinness with the President at a St Pat's Day fundraiser at O'Shaunnnnnnnnnnnnessy's.

    Pics of Lionel at the big cat area of the Lincoln Park Zoo sticking his tongue out at the other cats.

  2. Thank God Lionel is in good hands! I was hoping we could avoid a Navy Seal raid on the potential thief's abode.

    "Zero Dark Thirty Part Deux: The Lion Sleeps at Night".

    Here's a cute cover.